Despite the New York Times’ recent article entitled “Mark Zuckerberg Would Like You to Know About His Workouts,” such seemingly couldn’t be further from the truth. Last week, the Meta exec fired back at the Gray Lady’s piece detailing his newfound passion for jujutsu, taking issue with a particular passage recounting just how badly one Uber engineer allegedly kicked his ass during a recent competition.


“On May 6, Mr. Zuckerberg competed in his first Brazilian jujitsu event, in Woodside, Calif., where he defeated an Uber engineer and won two medals, and lost consciousness,” New York Times reporter Joseph Bernstein wrote of the competition. During one match, he explained, the referee, Brazilian jujitsu fighter José Lucas Costa da Silva, realized that Zuckerberg had passed out from a chokehold after hearing the exec “start to snore.”



"This is something we are trained to know," Costa da Silva, told the outlet of the knockout. Though the ref complimented Zuckerberg’s sportsmanship, noting that he was “enjoying the moment” despite getting choked out by a fellow nerd, Zuckerberg took issue with this portrayal.

Shortly after hitting the web, both the Sweet Baby Ray’s enthusiast and notable jujitsu trainer Dave Camarillo reached out to the publication contesting Costa da Silva’s version of events.



“That never happened,” Zuckerberg allegedly wrote in an email to the New York Times, Camarillo claiming the ref misinterpreted Zuckerberg’s strained grunts for snoring. Sure, Zuck. Sure.


These conflicting versions of events, like most high-profile TKOs, quickly set social media ablaze, with reporters and internet sleuths alike looking to discover what really happened during Zuckerberg’s fateful match.


As news outlets began an exhaustive search for video evidence of said fight – “Do You Have Video of Mark Zuckerberg Getting Choked Out?” Gizmodo asked their readers in a recent article – the fine shitposters of social were less worried about fact-checking, largely siding with the news outlet rather than the notably deranged tech icon.


“the male urge to deny you got choked out in a jiu-jitsu match,” joked Angel Mendoza, the Washington Post’s self-described “Redditor in Chief” in a now-viral tweet.



“Look like getting choked out isn't a big deal but it's HILARIOUS he had his PR team put out a statement on it,” mused Twitter user @TP_Grant. “Also the grunting resulting in a tap is peak middle-aged white belt.”


As @Blankzilla so aptly put it, “This is infinitely more embarrassing than getting choked out.”